I'm not even going to try to write an intro for this it's just really funny cause this place is ultimatley a lot less exposed than anywhere else I exist in but I always get caught up
in this feeling of anxiety whenever I try to do anything here.
I think it's cause, fundementally speaking. I view a website as similar to making art. Which saying it like that sounda kinda pretentious I mean in the sense of like- I am making a creative output, I am putting important
parts of my self on here as I type words. And I'm not really good at typing words that sound like me. It's probably due to some uh.........issues that I will not be getting into at this point in time. But it tends
to make anything I write not feel like me after a while. So I tend to dislike seeing my own writing.
Plus its just really hard for me to do this without wanting to change everything about the site? When I'm writing I check how it looks in the live viwer and think about how it looks and I Think "Oh this could look better" or "I could fix this" and that's fine usually but it's like...
My mind puts this in the forever WIP zone of my head so I always have to edit and edit and edit and never finish anything and put everything off and it's all just a bit of a mess.
I just get really sad sometimes trying to do something here cause I feel like I'm going nowhere in the "improving" the site, and since I'm just Writing I mull and mull and mull over it again and again till I don't want to look at it anymore.
It doesn't help that I just haven't been feeling well in general lately.
It's just rather frustrating, I'm trying my best.
On something less depressing. I changed how the log works since this is probably a better way to do it.
Also. Umineko has taken over my life even more. I need to bring my writings on it on here. And do something for Kyrie Ushiromiya-